Raising teenage girls is a unique experience.
One minute they are the sweetest, most loving and good nature human being you ever saw. The next, their heads spin around three times and unrecognizable screaming spews forth from their mouths.
You could mistakenly think you are in a deleted scene from “The Exorcist”.
So if you are about to enter the phase known as the “Teenage Girl”, perhaps there are a few things you should be aware of.
1. You will argue and frequently.
You will argue over the simplest of things. She will get fired up and let loose and typically you are the one standing directly in the firing line. As much as you can, let it roll off your shoulders. She will explode and then she will be done. It’s prudent to note that during this time she seems to become totally unaware of her surroundings and just who it is she is exactly screaming at. I can only equate this to a 2 year old tantrum, minus the throwing themselves and the ground and kicking their legs, although sometimes I expect that just to happen.
2. What’s yours is yours and what’s mine is yours.
I spend my whole waking existence hunting down my possessions. Hair straighteners, Make up products, hair elastics, my shoes, (these grow legs and walk).
3. Your menstrual cycles will inevitably collide.
I don’t profess to know how or why this occurs. Perhaps is natures way of just twisting that knife a little deeper and having a great old belly laugh at your expense. If you have 4 girls, this period ( no pun intended) of time is such fun and games and also expensive. Again no GST!!
4. You will never vacuum so much in your life.
Forget about pet hair. If you have teenage girls with long hair, vacuuming will become the bane of your existence. That and cleaning out the vacuum cleaner.. Your home will resemble a scene from a wild wild west movie as you sit and watch the tumbleweeds of hair blow past. The multitudes of hair will also play havoc with your bathroom drains, hence why I now have shares in “draino”.
5. Boys will start sniffing around.
This is OK if they come and go. It’s the ones that want to hang around for a while that you have to watch out for. You will find yourself discussing things with your daughter that perhaps you aren’t quite ready for.
6. Sleep, they will sleep like the dead.
They will sleep for 15 hours then turn around and say how tired they are. This is something to look forward to. These are the times when you can start to sleep in again, or you can be a real mean Mum and start vacuuming outside her room at 8am on a Saturday morning, whatever works for you.
7. Gone are the days whereby you can just snap a picture of your kids
And know that they don’t have a care in the world about how it turned out. Now every picture I take is analysed and “filtered” within an inch of it’s life and subject to contractual and artistic restrictions, should I wish to post it on social media (well nearly).
8.Her appearance will be very important to her.
9. You will spend most of your life in the car.
You are now a glorified taxi driver. You used to laugh at the signs on the back of other cars saying “Mums Taxi”, but now you know why. Those part time jobs are great for extra money, but you have to drive her to work and pick her up when she finishes at 10pm. That extra money is great because she can now afford the social life of her dreams and she will want to relish in this as much as possible. This is where you come in again, “Mums Taxi”. Add to that “Mum would you mind taking so and so home”? The upside is, payback is a bitch once they get their P Plates and they can drive your drunken ass home from the local.
10. You will also have the best friends you will ever have.
Especially as teenage girls get older. There is nothing better, than taking in a movie with your girls, having that all important chat about boys and periods and watching your amazing little girls turn into lovely young women.